Posted by Karen Degen on 15th July 2019
The question “Why do we Self-doubt and how do we overcome it?” was asked of me by a client, via email. My first thought was, that’s a huge question with a huge answer! But I do like to simplify things, so after some pondering I replied. Keep in mind that this client had done a few EFT sessions with me and I had taught her how to do EFT on herself for every-day issues, so she was well versed in using this particular tool.
Self-worth is a big and complex issue, but I’ll drastically simplify it down to two points.
How I deal with it with clients is:
- Ask them for a list of all the reasons why they can’t love and accept themselves (or feel like they are worthy, deserving, of value – whatever the wording is that resonates for them).
- Then I do EFT on each one individually until that is no longer a reason. Some things on the list will take one round of EFT and others will take multiple rounds over many sessions. We seek to change the belief that what is ‘wrong’ with them means they aren’t good enough (likeable, lovable etc). If someone has no reason why they can’t love and accept themselves, I generally tap on the fact that they’ve just believed that for so long they can’t stop believing it. The goal is to get people to a place where they recognise their weaknesses or less-than-perfect bits, but love and accept themselves anyway. This can be quite a journey at times. When we love and accept ourselves we (a) expect others to as well, as our expectations of other people’s opinions match our opinion of ourselves, and (b) don’t care if others do judge or not like us, because we like ourselves and it doesn’t matter or affect us in any way.
Right, so I’ve simplified a complex issue into two points. I can simplify it even further into 1 simple sentence:
It’s as simple as deciding to.
Loving and accepting yourself as you are can be as simple as deciding to. Ponder that for a while…..
Ok, that may or may not help as it is a complex issue, but if you want help with it you know where to find me 😊 Love Karen