Two different standards

Posted by Karen Degen on 6th August 2013

Tags: achieve, expectations, forgive, loving yourself, mistakes, standards

I find a lot of my clients set higher standards for themselves than they do for others.  Their expectations for themselves are much higher and they are harder on themselves if they don’t achieve what they set out to.  Often I’ll ask someone “would that be OK for someone else” and the answer is nearly always “yes”, but it’s not OK for them to have fallen short. They can easily forgive someone else for making that mistake but not themselves.   In the same way we talk to ourselves (with our thoughts) in a far harsher way than we talk to others. Would you consider for instance telling a friend “you’re looking really fat today”?  Of course not, but you tell yourself that with your thoughts.  We need to start being far kinder to ourselves and more understanding, as we would for a dear loved one.  Take a look at how high you’ve set the standard for yourself and lower it a little.  It’s the most loving thing you could do for yourself today.