When should I be physically intimate?

Posted by Karen Degen on 6th July 2016

Tags: emotionally intimate, physically intimate, sex

I am often asked by clients “How do you know the right time to be physically intimate with someone for the first time?” They ask “How will I know I’m ready?” often because they’ve been intimate in the past for many of the wrong reasons with not so good outcomes. I just came across this answer that I really like, thanks to Neale Donald Walsh.
“Intimacy means more than sex. It is about the connection of souls. It is the true union of two beings. You are intimate when you are fully with another, no matter what. In fact, this has very little to do with that which is physical.” So there’s your answer; when you feel that emotional intimacy and are fully with another you are ready for physical intimacy. I underlined the words ‘fully with another’ because I think this means being fully present. Being fully yourself. With no mask on. With no wall up.

“Ha ha” many of you are probably thinking, “If I’d waited until I had no wall up or until I was truly being myself I’d have been celibate my whole life!” That may be, but that’s what true intimacy is. The question is whether you want to have sex or whether you want to be physically intimate. The two are not the same. You can’t be physically intimate without being emotionally intimate.

If the thought of being intimate scares you in any way I can help.