Close relationships important for happiness – but what if you can’t make them

Posted by Karen Degen on 22nd January 2020


Research shows that one of the most important contributors to happiness is good relationships.  Not just romantic relationships either, but close friendships and social connections at work or in other activities. Studies prove that good relationships make you happier and they are also associated with better health and living longer.

One Harvard study on adult development (considered to be the most extended study, which started in 1938, tracked the lives of 724 men for 75 years) found that good relationships are the key factors that matter the most for long-lasting happiness.  Research does show however that a bad relationship is worse than being alone.

So, we know that good relationships and social connections are very important for our wellbeing.  Here’s the problem though – what if you can’t make those close connections?  This is the problem for many of my clients for the following main reasons:

  • Lack of self-esteem/self worth
  • Lack of confidence
  • Fear of saying the wrong thing or not responding in the right way
  • Fear of not being liked or accepted for who they really are
  • Feeling not being deserving, or not worthy of love, friendship or acceptance
  • Limiting beliefs such as ‘it’s not safe to trust people (especially the opposite sex), ‘it’s not safe to let people get close’ etc.


These are just a few of the common ones.  And of course, many of these blocks are in the subconscious mind, so people may not even be consciously aware of the reason they can’t make strong connections.

Then we add the Law of Attraction issue.  Basically, what we think, feel, believe and expect is what we tend to attract to ourselves.  So, if you don’t love or accept yourself, it is unlikely you will attract (or keep) someone who does love or accept you.  We need to change how we feel about ourselves before we can have strong and valuable social connections.

If you, or anyone you know has a problem with relationships or social connections let them know about me.  When you change how you feel about yourself, everything changes for the better.

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