A Reply Worth Sharing

Posted by Karen Degen on 18th June 2014

Tags: anxiety, email, love, nearly died, saved my life, stress leave, terminated

Following is part of an email exchange between myself and a client.  What she has to say is so special and important that I really wanted to share it with you and have her permission to do so.  Her name has been changed for confidentiality reasons.

As background, we had previously had a few sessions together via Skype (she is not in New Zealand) but hadn’t seen each other for a while.  As with many of my lovely clients, I had come to like her and care about her and sent her an email one day when I was thinking about her.  I knew she had been on stress leave from her job and asked how she was feeling in relation to her anxiety and health.   She replied that she was feeling much better and her health tests were perfect.  She also mentioned that she had nearly died and I emailed back to ask how she had nearly died, and also what in particular had helped her to feel better.  This is her reply:

Sarah:
Dear Karen, It took me quite some time to figure out the answers to your questions.

While I was taking time off, I was working in a pizzeria, owned by my good friends.  They ‘loved me up’, showing happiness every morning I was showing up.  In Canada, if you want to hug someone, you need to ask: “Can I hug you?” and then you provide that ‘plastic’ hug.  People from the ‘third world’ are different. They hug each other more often and very spontaneously. The love saved my life.

Also, my good friend from University flew from Sweden and spent a week with me. We drank wine, had laughs…went to mountains, had great conversations and also hugged each other.  You know Karen, it feels that hugging with feelings is equal to maximum Reiki, so to speak. I really believe that we can heal others ‘just’ by love.

How I nearly died is more difficult to answer. I allowed people to step all over me for a long time. They did not do it on purpose, but I just gave them too much. To me, it felt as if I did give away my power to them, they would be happier and I would feel better, because, for some reasons I just was not comfortable if people around me were not ok.  Most of the times in my life, I was way more powerful, accomplished quite a bit in science, music, …and I was fun. Everyone wanted to be around me and I did everything to entertain and please others.  At work, the work plus compassion, plus my previous problems with my ex, was too much and I fell apart.

The funny thing is, few days ago I admitted to myself that I was just my best self again.

23 June was my return to work day.  Then, out of the blue, a Human Resources person called from my company and told me that my work was going to be terminated….I have 4 weeks notice (paid) and also 5 weeks of unused vacation (to be paid), so I am ‘fine’ all summer.  I did not warn to go back to work actually and this is an answer to my prayer, but it still feels wrong and not fair. I could hire a lawyer, sue the company and get additional money, yet I want to move on.

But it is tricky, I am on a unmarked road now where all options are open and yet, I don’t know how to proceed. Grace is always here, they say….

What do you say?
Love you, Sarah
My Reply:
Sarah, what a lovely reply.  Thank you so much for sharing that with me.  I totally agree with your comment that love can heal, that being happy can heal and that hugs can heal.  I want everyone to hear that.  They hear it from me, but hearing it from someone who has experienced the transformation in their own lives is important.

You have hit on something so important here.  You NEED to feel happy (and loved is part of that) to be healthy.  If everyone who was sick just let go of trying to please others, let go of things they hated doing (like their job or their relationship) and did things that made them happy they would transform their lives.  In this life there are only two things – those that deaden us and those that bring us joy.  You dropped the things that deadened you and added stuff that bought you joy.  You couldn’t have done anything more perfect.

Going back to work would deaden you all over again.  You being terminated is the Universe’s way of saving you from that.  How wonderful that you were terminated!!!!!  Now you have to go out and find something better for you.  Better might mean more enjoyable, easier, less stressful rather than more prestigious or better paying – then again it might not.  Celebrate this situation and expect only the best from it.  Use EFT to let go of the fear or worry so you have no barrier to attracting a better future.

I was in exactly your situation once.  I had been made redundant and felt the same – that I had all these unmarked roads in front of me.  The way to proceed is this.  Relax.  Let go.  Be.  Allow.  If there is no resistance in the way the Universe will bring the right opportunity to you. You just have to be able to recognize it and have the bravery to take it.

Love and best wishes for a wonderful future which I know you will have.  You know I’m here to help if you want it.

Xxxxx
Karen