All of us in Christchurch have just been through a huge natural disaster, the likes of which take a toll on us emotionally - some more than others. How do we know if we have trauma from this disaster or if what we are feeling is normal for the circumstances? Before I answer that let me explain the three stages that we go through when recovering from such a traumatic event.
Stage 1:
In this stage we are spending most of our energy on surviving. We are concerned with our safety and the safety of our loved ones. We are concerned with where we are getting water and food from, where we are living or sheltering and other practical matters. We feel stressed and emotional but this seems normal because so is everyone else. This stage generally lasts for one to two weeks.
Stage 2:
In this rebuilding stage there is a lot of change in our lives and we are busy trying to cope with it. For some there will be new living arrangements or a change in business premises, or for children a change in their schooling. Everything is different and we don't have our normal routines. Even travel is different and we can't go the same way we used to because of the roads. It all takes time and energy. We are busy just coping with change and don't have time to think or feel. This is the stage I believe many people are in right now.
Stage 3:
In this stage much of the change has taken place and we are starting to settle down. We have new routines and although things are different, we have a new 'normal'. Its often not until this stage, when life is quieter, that our emotions from the event or situation come up and we begin to realise that we still aren't coping well. Any emotions put to one side in the previous stages will re-surface. We may notice that our relationships are getting more strained and that others around us seem to be coping better than we are.
Those who are self aware will realise they need to seek help for how they feel. Those who are not aware will need someone to point it out to them in a loving way because the symptoms of trauma (listed below) can seem quite general. One of the biggest myths about trauma is that it will go away on its own in time. It will not! Those who are struggling in this stage will likely continue to struggle, often for the rest of their lives if they don't get help. The effect that trauma has on the lives of survivors, their family, and society is underestimated and symptoms of trauma are often not recognized by survivors, family and medical staff.
Some Symptoms of Trauma (note – just one of these symptoms can be indicative of trauma)
Obvious symptoms of trauma (these often show up straight away in Stage 1)
• Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
• Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
• Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
• Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
• Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)
• Refusing to think about the event or have people talk about it
• Strong fear or anxiety
• Suicidal thoughts and feelings
Less obvious symptoms of trauma (these may not become apparent until Stage 3)
• A feeling of hopelessness or helplessness
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Fuzzy brain and unable to think
• Inability to make decisions
• Feelings of numbness and shutdown
• A feeling of dissociation
• Feeling isolated
• Feeling misunderstood or not understanding yourself
• Living every day with the strong feeling that something fatal is about to happen to you (but possibly you can’t locate the danger)
• Feeling anxious or depressed
• Physical aches, pains or muscle tension with no apparent cause
• Drinking, eating, smoking or engaging in other addictive behaviours more
• New phobias or fears
• Feeling alienated and alone
• Guilt, shame or self blame
• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
• Irritability or mood swings
• Outbursts of anger
• Difficulty concentrating
• Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
• Feeling jumpy and easily startled
• Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
• Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
• Loss of interest in activities and life in general
• Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
• Withdrawing from others
• Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
• Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
• Fatigue
• Racing heartbeat
• Edginess and agitation
• Shock, denial or disbelief
• Anxiety
• Fear
Children may also experience:
• Fear of being separated from parent
• Losing previously-acquired skills (such as toilet training)
• Sleep problems and nightmares without recognizable content
• Somber, compulsive play in which themes or aspects of the trauma are repeated
• New phobias and anxieties that seem unrelated to the trauma (such as a fear of monsters).
• Acting out the trauma through play, stories, or drawings.
• Aches and pains with no apparent cause
• Irritability and aggression
What to do if you have some of these feelings
If you are unsure whether what you are feeling is a normal response to this disaster please give me a ring or send me an email. I'll give you a free unbiased opinion.
Help for Businesses
Services available to help businesses:
- Enabling staff to return to work in high rises, the CBD or other places they are fearful of
- Treating trauma in staff members, either individually or as a group/workplace
- Workshops covering what people may be feeling, whether its normal and what they can do to better cope and be fully productive
- Workshops on coping with change
- Freeing people from emotions that are impacting negatively on them. They then have a clear head and are focused and motivated to move forward in their jobs and their lives.
For a chat about your own particular situation please contact me. I'm here to help. Often one session is enough.
To view testimonials click here